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Sexual assault and abuse

If you are experiencing physical or emotional hurt, if you are frightened or confused because of a person’s behaviour towards you (whether they are family members, work colleagues, friends or your peers) then the likelihood is that you are experiencing some kind of abuse. NOT to be abused is to feel respected, able to negotiate your needs in some way, have control over your personal space and belongings, and determine your own destiny.

Experiences of abuse

Abuse can be experienced as

• Physical - from being slapped, kicked to even greater harm (witnessing physical violence such as breaking of objects causes intimidation and is regarded as abuse)
• Emotional - such as isolation from family members and friends or verbal as in name calling or put downs.
• Financial - not having reasonable access to money for livelihood.
• Sexual - any form of sexual activity not consented to, exposure to sexual innuendo or material that causes acute embarrassment.

Cycle of abuse

Abuse is very often part of a cycle where an event triggers the abuse, for example, an explosion of anger, followed by remorse (or further blame) and a promise for it not to happen again, only to reoccur in an escalated form.

ABUSERS are not easily detected. They can be charming, appear caring and loving. They blame others, taking no responsibility for their actions.

Abuse and your study

Abusers want you to feel that you are to blame for the way you are being treated, therefore undermining your sense of self esteem and confidence. When there is abuse occurring in your life your energy is directed towards surviving the abuse, leaving you with little energy to concentrate on your studies. Sometimes your involvement at university or your studies are used as a reason for the abuse. There is no justification for abuse.

Quick tips

1. Trust your senses-your gut feelings
2. Know that you have a right to have your needs met
3. Emotional abuse is subtle and insidious. Distance yourself from this kind of person
4. Being honest with the abuser is no use. You cannot help that person. If you try to then you may be taking responsibility and (in that person’s mind) blame for the abusive behaviour
5. Abusers will try to isolate you so be sure to confide in others to break the cycle of abuse
6. Where possible walk away from abusers and get help.

Taking it further

• Contacts and Services for Sexual Assault in Australia
  http://www.community.gov.au/Internet/MFMC/Community.nsf/pages/section?opendocument&Section=Sexual%20Abuse
• Contacts in Victoria for Sexual Assault in Australia
  http://www.casa.org.au/
• Contacts for violence and abuse in Australia
  http://www.dvirc.org.au/resources/Contact.htm
• Bravehearts - For survivors of sexual abuse.
  http://www.bravehearts.org.au/
• Community Services - Information, support and resources for people affected by sexual abuse.
  http://www.community.gov.au/
• Sexual Abuse– An Overview
  http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/
• Sexual Assault– Definitions and Realities
  http://www.connectqld.org.au/asp/index.asp?pgid=10399
• Domestic Violence Information, Services and related Links
  http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/
• Domestic Violence and Incest - Sexual Assault by a family member
  http://www.dvirc.org.au/
• All forms of Sexual Assault
  http://www.secasa.com.au/infosheets.html

Getting help